is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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