we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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