Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
