I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
