I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize