Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tweediem2 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how you discovered this.

(440): View more from Ohio

I was looking in the mirror snooping around

Fav 14 2049 956
share tweet
(949): View more from California

"it" just moved

Fav 10 1008 1187
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

Fav 11 1304 980
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.

(734): View more from Michigan

What'd you do?

(313): View more from Michigan

Its more like what im about to do.

Fav 6 3966 957
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls

(763): View more from Minnesota

is that a poem?!

Fav 55 7869 2263
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

(816): View more from Missouri

...... wtf.

Fav 25 7724 1545
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

Fav 11 1469 3675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

Fav 3 682 593
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify

Fav 0 71 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT