i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
