my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
