you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
