My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
