i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
