I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
