We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
