I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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