My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Reggie can tackle my bush.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
