just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
