Whod you bang
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
barbara walters just said penis...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
