lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize