I heard we made out
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
