Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
