my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
