I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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