He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
