I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
