i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
