So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize