So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
