Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
