dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
