ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
