why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize