She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize