I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
