so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
