I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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