ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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