She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
