dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
