Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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