I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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