some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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