Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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