oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
