Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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