whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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