judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
why is half of my head shaved?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
