Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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