My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
