His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
