...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
