So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize