just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
