Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
