brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ok first of all what the fuck
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
