Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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