that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
