can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
