Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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