His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My penis needs a shock collar
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think my moral compass just broke
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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