Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Green mimosas i think yes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
