thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
