I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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