Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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