how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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