When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
