Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Drunk is a universal language darling
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
