But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
