You really coming over, don't trick.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
