I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize