No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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