2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
