he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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