It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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