Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
