how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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