Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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