My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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